TIPS TO BUSING IN LAGOS

Lifestyle, Oddities

Now that you are here. You came at the right time. You need this. If not now, later. If not ever, just read the post? Pretty please? Lol

Okay, actually I dedicate this post to all the people that have provoked and decided to enter bus for the first time. You have done well. Your “provoktion” (in lack of a better word for real) is not in vain.

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Photo by Jide Odukoya (eh sir, just in case, I really love this picture and it just fit my post like a glove. Lol thank you)

So, let me tell you my story…

It’s not today I started entering bus. I’ve been entering bus since I was in the stomach (I’m pretty sure about that) but I only started entering bus alone as the main ‘enterer’ a few years ago. Now, there is a huge difference. You know when you’re in a bus with someone else, and they’re the main person, that makes you the sub person. That means you talk less and do less except walk, enter and sit. That’s what I always enjoyed. I found it fascinating sha from the process to the drivers to the conductors to the “agberos”.

Anyway, everything was fascinating until I started the struggle as the main person on my own. Entering buses to short distances isn’t really as bad as long distances.

My first somewhat long distance journey was from Yaba to Ajah. On that day, I went for tutorials and I was chilling for the driver who was already about an hour late. When I called him he said he was at the mechanic and I should give about an hour.

The next time I called the story was that the car couldn’t be fixed that day so there I had it. I couldn’t take a cab because hello? Ko si owo. I just said, “Forget mehn, you can do this. It’s not your first time of entering bus after all” and I started walking out. When I got to the bus stop I had to ask for where I would see Ajah bus. Apparently, there was nothing like that. I was told I had to enter Obalende bus first before I’d see Ajah bus. I now went to where I’d enter Obalende bus. There wasn’t much hassle there because the buses were in line. Taking turns.

When I got to Obalende, I didn’t even know I had gotten there I just saw people coming down. See me still comfortably waiting for the bus to reach a bus stop. Na lie – the conductor just said, “All passenger, all passenger” in a very aggressive manner as if me I was forming strong head. The bus was still moving o and he expected me to come down like that, I told them to slow down small na but hey, girl with a polished accent ain’t gonna work like that with conductors and drivers in a haste for another bus round. I don’t even know how I got down but I did. That was phase 1.

If you know Obalende then you know how rowdy it is. It is like the midpoint of every Lagos destination so there are people swarming in and out. Fast forward, I had to ask again for where I would get a bus to Ajah, I was directed to the BRT Park. I was happy at least, a better looking bus. What luck I had, my oh my, the bus had already left and the queue for the next one was longer than Methuselah’s age if I’m not wrong.

I was then directed to another place by someone but then the buses weren’t meant to load passengers there so they moved at any minute regardless and me now, I’m not that fast to be entering bus like conductor. So na for where I dey, I dey. Ngwa time is passing, I had to leave. I was now directed to another place but the buses there ehn, they looked like agege bread. You know what, I just gave up and entered one of them and that’s how I got back to Ajah in a somewhat hot, people filled, small air to breathe bus and the rest is history.

Ever since then I’ve had other bus trips, I’ve been gauging them, taking down notes and now we are here. Lagos living is all about preparation and adaptation. Quote me, abeg quote me.

Sooo I want to “help you naa, I want to help your solution” before you embark on your busing. Entering bus in Lagos can never be smooth (at least not now) but you can at least give yourself less trouble with these tips:

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TIP 1

Know where you’re going and know how to get there. Dearly beloved, this is one crucial matter and I think the most important of them all. Forget private car or taxi, I’m talking bus here. It can be confusing not knowing how to get to your destination and people can be so agitated, they may not even want to answer you. If you’re blessed enough, there are always those who are willing to be helpful and you just may approach them. They will answer you.

 

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TIP 2

Carry exact transport money with extra N50 on top. Conductors can get on your nerves. They can call N200 to your destination then you enter and let’s say you give them N500, they can give you N250 as your change. Why abeg? They can try to make you look like you didn’t hear well. Other times, they will just be screaming over your head and pouring you saliva if you give them an amount too high like N1000 for a N150 trip (you sef epp). Then on annoying days, they can pair you up with some stranger and tell you both to sort yourselves out with change. Then there are those days that they will tell you, “I no get change, I no get change”. That is how “I no get change” until they vanish with your change. So my dear, save yourself ad carry exact change.

EXTRA TIP 2

You gatts sharp up. If you get mouth and you get time, all this nonsense no go reach you. Just grab that their shirt and squeeze. LOL something my eldest sister will do. No time.

 

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TIP 3

Aim for the front seat. It is the best in my opinion. If you’re not a fan of people squishing and squashing you or you don’t like heat and all that stuff. Seat in the front seat. I’m not talking about that stool or speaker and what not that is used as a chair that the driver/conductor put there, I’m talking about the proper seat (you may consider that one only if you truly really really really want to sit in front). That thing is not a seat abeg. Aim for the proper seat, for one, you are closer to the driver (especially if you don’t like shouting) for another, you’re away from too many people. If you’re in the proper front seat and someone wants to enter the front as well, get down or move let them enter unless of course you don’t want to. That is your choice but remember: lock target on the front seat unless it’s already taken.

 

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TIP 4

Respect yourself. Unless need be, respect yourself. If you’re taking more than the space you paid for and someone tells you to move, don’t argue, and just move. If you are aware that you hit someone or you stepped on them and blah blah blah, apologize. Don’t be rude even if people are rude. I know that extra tip 2 says that you should sharp up and grab shirt, nna and nne biko be careful.

 

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TIP 5

Shine your eye. Shine your eye, well well.

 

 

Don’t over stress yourself because you’re entering bus. This tips apply to Danfo buses but if you really want lesser stress, just patiently queue for BRT. Fiam.

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