Before we begin…
Yeah, that’s me. Showing you my picture for no reason really.
Now we begin…
I’ve been a couch potato for about two weeks now.
Yes, I did get out of the house at least once or twice in the weeks (Sunday is the once) but I’ve just been at home stuck in between my bed, the kitchen and my laptop.
I finally completed You’re the worst, season 2!! Can you believe that Gretchen told Jimmy she loved him too after he said it first in his sleep apparently? 😭😭😭😭 so cute. I’m on to season 3, we move.
Anyway, so yesterday after I’d completed you’re the worst and spent part of my day on ThoughtCatalog, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who was telling me about the girl he likes and likes him too. So I asked him, “But for how long?” Because it’s so beautiful how he feels that way and what they both feel seems so reciprocated “at the moment”. Then I said to him, “‘Almost relationships’ are the worst kind”.
Aha! Light bulb! The only thing in my head was the theme song from you’re the worst, “I’m gonna leave you anyway, I’m gonna leave you anyway, I’m gonna leave you anyway.”
Okay, maybe I’ve been a little bit too absorbed by the series.
ALMOST RELATIONSHIPS AND FINGERS CROSSED
You will reach that point in your life where all of your friends’ statuses become “in a relationship,” and everywhere you turn is flooded with pictures of them with their “boos.” Meanwhile, your relationship status has steadily read “single.” or “complicated”. So you’re wondering when you’d make the switch. Everyone else has, right? But you have someone. You and your significant other are definitely something – just, maybe not something either of you are ready to set in stone.
So there you’ve been for a while now, wondering, “Are we a couple, or are we still ‘just friends?’” That’s a really tricky question to answer, and sometimes, there just isn’t an answer to it…and there may never be. The only thing you can mistake for an answer is, “I like you doesn’t always equal I want a relationship with you…not now anyway or ever”
That right there is the thing with almost relationships. All it takes is one person in it to transform it into the almost. Therefore, making everything end without getting started first.
But before the end, you seemed to have it all right? The long texts, the late night and morning texts, the calls, seeing each other frequently, talking about your feelings and emotions, making promises, talking about the future, making jokes about your life together and every other thing a normal couple would do. Oh, bliss!
People say that new age relationships don’t come with, “will you be my boy/girlfriend?” Or “will you go out with me?” anymore. Once “I like you and you like me”. We’re together.
Hey, that’s the illusion.
If it’s not stated, it doesn’t exist. Almost relationships are the sweetest. You seem to feel the most. You’re ready to give it all. You get so connected. You begin to feel you can trust them. You even tell them things you may never have told your best friend. You want to do everything right and yada yada yada
Don’t let your emotions and feelings blind you into making unrealistic excuses when you know better. If their actions are not consistent with their words then you should accept the fact that they may not be that invested in you.
Sometimes they actually do want you but they’re confused or distracted or misled by something or someone.
Before you’re consumed by the idea that only their feelings back for you can make you happy…
Just ask questions early enough and you could save yourself from getting hurt. If you don’t ask important questions like what the other person is truly looking for and how many other people they are talking to, you could be living in your own fantasy. You could be looking for a relationship and the other person just wants to ‘have fun’ or ‘hang out.’ It’s always smart to know where you stand. Although, sometimes they may never have the answers you want to hear, they’ll have an answer for you.
Bear in mond that you may never get closure. Almost relationships mostly end without closure. You may never know why things ended or why it fizzled out, was it you or was it them — and so many other unanswered questions. You will learn that if the relationship was never defined in the first place, then it will end without explanations too.
Know that you can’t force something simply because you want it right now. Even if you are the most patient and most understanding person in the world, if the feelings are not reciprocated and you two are not on the same page, you can’t force a relationship on someone simply because you want to.
Almost relationships are worse than real relationships because if you really liked the person as you said you did, then for a moment after it’s over, you will think about what it would have been if you both gave “us” a chance.
What it would have been if you threw caution to the wind, and ignored the “what ifs” and the “buts” and the fear, and just tried to be more than you are?
How you would allow yourselves to explore the feelings you have for each other together, instead of just thinking about them when you walk away from each other, wishing you could’ve just stayed side-by-side.
How sometimes it’s better to follow something to the end and know it was the end of you than to be wondering if it could have been or not.
Almost relationships are the worst but maybe they aren’t the worst after all. You may have looked forward to whatever may be.
Yes, it sucks getting disappointed.
But almost relationships come with stories that become eventually funny and you tell your friends, your children or your eventual significant other, who may actually be your true love.
So in the end, you just may be happier your almost relationship never turned into a real relationship. If it didn’t.