“I want to love Nigeria from afar and say I miss Suya”

Dear Diary, Fashion, Lifestyle, Oddities, People, Spurs, Travels and Recipies

“The skin colour of the slave masters changed but we’re not really free.”


“We used to be really excited back in the day, we would buy flags, share them, run around in green. Give to all our neighbours. Stick them on our cars.

But now, independence means nothing. It’s just another holiday where there’s no school or work. It’s like an extension.

We have countries where men died for causes and led battalions and that’s how far it goes. But the citizens know and understand, stay true to it, respect it, celebrate it and pass it down to their generations.

But the average Nigeria is suffering. I don’t know what we gained and what we’re enjoying because in many fields, outsiders rule and what do we have to show for it?

We’re independent but is it really what we want? If you’re not in a certain class, no one cares about you.

Your only crime in Nigeria is being poor.

57 years after and nothing to show for it. Look at where we are.

I would like for it to actually mean something but when your country has done less to make meaning of its independence you wonder how the “celebration” will ever mean a thing.

I would want to love Nigeria from afar and talk about how I miss suya and all but ultimately, I’m Nigerian and I love it but I will never delude myself that we are the best nation”

Those were his words when I spoke about October 1st with him this morning. Amongst all the conversations I had today on Nigeria’s independence, this took me.

On many levels, I relate and in as much as we hate to, we must admit to the truthfulness of it.

Nonetheless, as a Nigerian, I pray for a better Nigeria and I wish her fruitfulness.

In other events,

Yes, September was a month I was totally absent in this space but don’t fault me just yet. When I resume school (around October 17th) I will actually (for real this time, for real real for real) release the schedule.

Plus, I have an announcement that’s pretty big.

While that’s coming, I made myself green because…independence.


Happy Independence! Happy October! God bless Nigeria!


14 words that explain those weird feelings you feel inside



I’m going to tell you about my absence. 

Lately, I’ve had a lot of school work. Imagine a world where you offer ten courses in school and out of the ten, you’re given assignments in nine – the kind that are lengthy and voluminous with due dates which follow each other by days of three or two. Not forgetting the tests that come in between every now and then.

Lately, on most days, when I get home, I just freshen up, probably eat and then I fall asleep. I want to have a renewed mind and enough energy to do my assignments a little bit into the night. Then I fall asleep again around 1AM or so to wake up for my 9AM classes. Simple.


So you see, that’s my routine and blogging time – I really can’t squeeze in. I’m currently not the best person to be telling you about decluttering. I mean, declutter so you can breathe but that’s as far as I can go.

I won’t bore you with my current boring and studious life but I’ve been feeling a lot of things. My moods go to the park a lot these days. Swinging and sliding and having fun with themselves. But still I’ve managed to have a taste of bliss in the absence of all thought.

Now, I know a lot of you read this our blog. By stats we’re all just passers by so I wouldn’t guess that some of you literally wait on a new post. I think the weirdest part of the wait has been when my students’ affairs director asked me when I was going to post again because he has been “waiting”. I found it weird and funny – he doesn’t think it’s weird btw.

By way of disclosure, I never really knew quite a number of you actually follow this our blog. So when I get messages that read, “Why haven’t you posted in a long time?” (because I got a lot of those in this time past) I’m always like, “Who, me?” Okay. I didn’t know that. I will. You touched me, I’m in my feels.

Lol okay, so speaking about feelings? We feel many things on a regular day. On some irregular days, well, we feel way more than many things – it’s not just an emotional roller coaster, it’s an emotional disaster. But I’ve learned that a life without all these isn’t really a life at all. A life without clutter, a life without a little trouble, a life without annoyance, a life without siblings, a life without friends, a life without that one person, a life without the daily things in this world that pique us and learning how hard it is to lose someone or something or to fail a test —without this, we never realize the worth of what we have and how beautiful life is in between.

While you’re standing there in that whitespace, feeling different things you may not know how to describe…I’ve been there for quite a while. But I went in search because I felt like some of these feelings can be explained and ta-da some can and I made this list for you. Here are a few of those weird emotions we feel on weird days:

1. Mal De Coucou

A phenomenon in which you have an active social life but very few close friends.

2. Adronitis

The frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.

3. Sonder

The realisation that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.

4. Rubatoisis

The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat, whose tenuous muscular throbbing feels less like a metronome than a nervous ditty your heart is tapping to itself, the kind that people compulsively hum or sing while walking in complete darkness, as if to casually remind the outside world, I’m here, I’m here, I’m here.

5. Catoptric Tristesse

The sadness that you’ll never really know what other people think of you, whether good, bad or if at all.

6. Ellipsism

The sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out, that you’ll dutifully pass on the joke of being alive without ever learning the punchline—the name of the beneficiary of all human struggle, the sum of the final payout of every investment ever made in the future—which may not suit your sense of humor anyway and will probably involve how many people it takes to change a lightbulb.

7. Liberosis

The desire to care less about things—to loosen your grip on your life, to stop glancing behind your every few steps, afraid that someone will snatch it from you before you reach the end zone—rather to hold your life loosely and playfully, like a volleyball, keeping it in the air, with only quick fleeting interventions, bouncing freely in the hands of trusted friends, always in play.

8. Onism

The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time, which is like standing in front of the departures screen at an airport, flickering over with strange place names like other people’s passwords, each representing one more thing you’ll never get to see before you die—and all because, as the arrow on the map helpfully points out, you are here.

9. Nodus Tollens

The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore—that although you thought you were following the arc of the story, you keep finding yourself immersed in passages you don’t understand, that don’t even seem to belong in the same genre—which requires you to go back and reread the chapters you had originally skimmed to get to the good parts, only to learn that all along you were supposed to choose your own adventure.

10. Kuebiko

A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence, which force you to revise your image of what can happen in this world—mending the fences of your expectations, weeding out all unwelcome and invasive truths, cultivating the perennial good that’s buried under the surface, and propping yourself up like an old scarecrow, who’s bursting at the seams but powerless to do anything but stand there and watch.

11. énouement

The bittersweetness of having arrived here in the future, where you can finally get the answers to how things turn out in the real world—who your baby sister would become, what your friends would end up doing, where your choices would lead you, exactly when you’d lose the people you took for granted—which is priceless intel that you instinctively want to share with anybody who hadn’t already made the journey, as if there was some part of you who had volunteered to stay behind, who was still stationed at a forgotten outpost somewhere in the past, still eagerly awaiting news from the front.

12. Monachopsis

The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place, as maladapted to modernity as a seal on the beach—lumbering, clumsy, resting often, easily distracted, huddled in the presence of other misfits—unable to recognize the nearby…

13. Lapyear

The age at which you become older than your parents were when you were born – ugh, they may now begin with the “When I was your age” talk.

14. Gnossienne

A moment of awareness that someone you’ve known for years still has a private and mysterious inner life.


PS: If you feel like you feel more than you can describe, you can head over to The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows for more.





Sharon Ntan 19before97



Social media the anti social breeder


This is a repost of my old post (but secretly, it never gets old.)


Welcome to the world of social media:

Recognition and validation from total strangers is what it helps us find. Feeling satisfation, temporary sense of belonging but we do not mind. It’s vain and completely insane but yet we crave this selfish gain.

It’s all about us. Ourselves more than anyone else. Yet we have somehow convinced ourselves successfully that it’s more about them.

Who are we decieving? Who are we conscious of misleading? It doesn’t really matter now, it’s all about being heard more than anything else. These days we don’t write, this generation isn’t the type.

To get a word across you only need a screen and a keyboard to type.

No more love notes and short poems, it’s now false quotes and anecdotes. Delivering subs and publicizing privacy. People are happier celebrated by strangers who are only as selfish as as they are in rendering these praises.

And do so not for anyone but for their own interests too, as they recognize and acknowledge that you can be of the socially acceptable class that they believe to be elite and exalted.

Social media has become a reflection of who we are, a mirror of words, tweets, retweets, captions and pictures. Though some might argue that they merely project a persona that isn’t really theirs, conclusions can still be drawn and deductions made from these claims.

If the person you project isn’t the person you are, then the person you are, probably isn’t the person you want to be.

Social media has become a free therapist, friend to all and a great confidant to the majority. People are happier telling their problems to strangers who know and care less about them.

This enemy to Social interaction has been given the highest position of trust and friendship by the ones it has enslaved. We share our moments with the world by posts in forms of videos, pictures and phrases but these moments might just really be spent alone. People become depressed or suicidal but deceive themselves that they may not be because…social media is “great”.

These things make us more and more comfortable being apart, we feel like we don’t miss the need to be with people physically so we just stay separated for as long s there’s a connection…an internet connection.

People are more concerned now about internet data bundles than they are about evening strolls and the likes. The ones we call friends are the ones we constantly feel the need to impress, we don’t even know their real names but we feel obliged to always give them our best.

The world of “anti-social” social media is damaging communication and strengthening vague connections. Built on selfish interests and shallow requests. Retweets are not endorsements yet they look beyond the disagreement and on to the recognition that follows and so it’s of little importance if a little character is lost along the way just as long as all these strangers know my name.

It’s not that I want you to stop using social media or your smartphones. I just want you to find that balance too and make sure you’re alive enough to recognize that someone beside you is human and present in body, not through your phones.

Watch the video below:

You can also read another exciting post from my archives: Out of Hand


Any thoughts?

See you soon x

Sharon Ntan 19before97


Reasons you should start using a loofah sponge

Lifestyle, Oddities

See, since I got my loofahs, I’ve been feeling like I’m bathing like those ladies in Telemundo bathe lol it feels so good and soft and wfvkslcgfsvcklkhwjkgdclf;lk.,vjhsjcs\hjvwd.

Loofah Sponge 19before97.wordpress.com

Hello beautiful people,

I know I have not been as active in posting – yes, once again I’m here with my not being active stories and yada yada yada but believe me when I say a lot has happened and has been happening – procrastination of this post is one of them. But now I am posting so I can enter the new week without it.

This post is to gush about my amazing sponge, suggest you use it too and of course, #SayNoToProcrastination!

Okay so, I’ve never really been a fan of sponges but when I decided to jump into the sponge pool small small, I fell in love with the glove sponges first. I remember in high school, when I was in the hostel, I had glove sponges with my friends and whenever it was shower time, we’d all wear our sponges, wrap our towels and get ready for a spongey performance. I think we called ourselves “glove girls”.

Anyway, glove sponges are good too specially if you plan on going camping in the bushes and you don’t want to accidentally drop your sponge in the sad looking bathroom. Because you’re well aware that once/if you drop your normal rope like or ball looking sponge, there’s no going back – this was exactly how I felt when I went camping last year and the year before that, good thing I took glove sponges – I was ready mehn.

But…if you want to feel like you’re in a spa at home then I suggest you throw those gloves and his buddies to the side and get yourself some loofahs.


See, since I got my loofahs, I’ve been feeling like I’m bathing like those ladies in Telemundo bathe lol it feels so good and soft and wfvkslcgfsvcklkhwjkgdclf;lk.,vjhsjcs\hjvwd.

This sponge is called a Luffa or Loofah (I always called them my oval sponges). It’s a natural fibrous plant seed pod that grows an annual vine. It is used in bathrooms and kitchens because it’s great for scrubbing and washing, like duh.

I got mine from my mum whose friend went to Kwara (a state in Nigeria).  It’s funny how the sponges have been tantalizing me now when my mum has been using them for years – if I ever do a post on her beauty lifestyle, you’d be awed.

The thing is, when she uses these natural things and says “join me” or “take, use. It’s healthier”, we’re always more like, “Yeeeaaaahhh, mummy thank you. *in our minds* we gon’ passsss”.

Meanwhile, much later we’d now come and act like we just found something amazing that’s never been seen with the eyes lol

I guess we always remember the time she made us drink bitter leaf water when we were much younger because it was healthy. I think I ran away and never drank it but I remember very well that my siblings did. Their taste buds were scarred for days.

*Bitter leaves are healthy and medicinal by the way.


Loofah’s are great. Loofah’s are great sponges.


They exfoliate your skin (you know, take out the dead skin and all), enhance blood circulation (I see this one for internet ooo), they improve the look of your skin (this one, I can attest to) and they are very affordable.

Every time I use them, especially in the evening (so I can sleep like baby), I always feel and see the difference.



The moment you get and start using a loofah, you may love it (as I love mine), but don’t get too attached to it – you won’t want to now come and catch craw craw.

By their nature, it is said that loofah sponges have lots of nooks and crannies, and are very porous. It is also said that “when people use a loofah to scrub off dead skin cells, those cells become lodged in the nooks and crannies. And that sets the stage for a bacterial breeding ground” – Dermatologist, Melissa Piliang, MD.

Loofahs can contain fungal organisms that lead to skin infections, Dr. Piliang says. “That’s why it’s important to make sure you keep your loofahs clean, replace them fairly regularly and use them gently — not too vigorously.” 

Your body is not the under of pot – do not over scrub. This one I am the one saying it. 



If you want to care for your skin and stay away from bacteria, you have to care for your loofah (make e no come be like say good thing don come cause cata cata), I suggest you do these things:

1. DRY aka AIR DRY: Loofahs can retain moist a lost and that’s an avenue for bacteria to build up. Don’t hang your loofah in your bathroom which is humid by nature. Take your loofah to an environment that’s airy or out in the sun so it can dry and dry well like it was just bought.

2. CLEAN: To clean your loofah, you can use a body friendly antiseptic.g. Savlon, Dettol e.t.c. or bleach as some people do, along with hot water. This will destroy any bacteria it may already be carrying. Do this whenever you’re about to use your loofah or if you haven’t used it in a while and you intend on using it – you can even do this right after you use it.

3. REPLACE: Replace your loofah as often as often can be. Depending on usage. You should change your loofah every 3-5 weeks if you take good and extra of it. They are not as expensive as they look.


Actually, back to being very affordable, if you walk into a store that has added ghen ghen like handle, shape, fragrance and polythene packaging to the loofah then…na you get your pocket.

Else, you can always source them more locally. They are in your village -__-

The fun to thing is to look good and feel good with care #ThankGodForMothers #ThankGodForTheInternet

Would you buy or use a loofah? It can also be a lovely gift to get someone…say yes!


Phrase Log

  • Mehn = (Let’s be real, I can’t quite explain this in English but if you know, you know)
  • I see this one for internet ooo = I saw this on the internet 
  • Craw craw = Skin Irritation
  • Ghen ghen = (This one is like mehn, I can’t quite explain)
  • Make e no come be like say good thing don come cause cata cata = Let it not be that a good became a problem
  • Na you get your pocket = You are on your own or you own your money.



Sharon Ntan 19before97

Shani Crowe: Braids of future past

Lifestyle, Oddities


I remember when I was much younger and these were the kind of hairstyles I wore…or something like that.

It’s always a thing of joy to see when people carry their culture with them regardless of where they are. That’s exactly what Shani Crowe, a Chicago artist does and does so beautifully.

Her representations are everything. I just can’t get enough.























Image Source: Shani Crowe’s Instagram and the web.


Sharon Ntan 19before97

47 pictures that tell an almost love story and after


I have a few illustrators I love and Henn Kim is one of them.

As I was going through these pictures, looking at them, I was just imagining a story they perfectly told.

This is a story of love that didn’t quite pan out as expected but then, “we keep it moving”.

Believe me, it’s real.

** Read the captions as you look at the pictures.


Hello young girl. Hello innocent girl. Open your eyes and see the world. See what matters. See him.




You open your eyes. You see a beautiful world. You see him so you open your world to him.



“Welcome”, he says. I want you. Come.




There you go. You go with one mindset. You want to do everything right. You want to know all about him.



You go searching You go sourcing. You go..stalking.



You search him. His most inner parts. Those are the parts that truly matters. “What is this man made of?”



You’ve found out all about him. You’re in his head now.



There you are. Thinking you’re hooked. You’re comfortable.



look what this has done to you. He’s skin deep now.



You already fell for him but you’re still falling. You’re falling hard.


You’re creating and recreating the stories that don’t even exist. I mean, they exist to you.



Look, you’re alone in reality but  your imaginations have run wild. You are with him in your tiny little world.


You both make the perfect pair you say. He’s on lock down.



You have those conversations over the phone almost all day because to you, this is the only thing keeping you both apart.




Look at him, resting. You’ve plastered him on your heart. That is his rightful spot.



There’s a reaction and its chemical. These things do not lie.



Your love is burning bright and fast. Thing are happening as you want them to. Such bliss.



Then…he locks you out. How? Why? When?



That sure feels like a bullet in the back.



You’re broken. what was ll that for?



All you were just another meal. The one he hadn’t tried yet.



Perhaps, you were a drink



You need some air to process the thought of that. You just need some space.



Has time run out for you both? If it hasn’t then it is running out.



You think…you think hard. What do you do? You may be losing it.



You feel the pain



Then you fall into self realization.



You become the music you always listened to


You remember the times



Oh, you cry your heart out. Even if it’s for the first  time



You’re broken. But your friends are always there. Friends.



You are healing. The support does a lot of good.



You step out of those shoes. That was not for you in the beginning.



If only you didn’t fall so hard. You wouldn’t have all these scars to heal from.



Take a bath, girl. Relax.



Soak yourself and come out like you’re brand new




Wash yourself. Cleanse yourself. Thoroughly.


Dry yourself. Let that excess drop.


Let it burn. Let him burn. Set the memories of him ablaze.




Now, create new  memories. Read a happy book. Play.



Get over him. This is how you should have jumped over his trap from the beginning. If only you knew.



Hello young girl. Informed girl. Free yourself. 



Begin again. Find tipex if you have to. Remove every single bit of him.



You see that life you imagine? The one yo dream of? It will be yours soon enough.



You owe no one answers.



Protect your heart. Let him protect his brain. The one thing that separates you both is what rues you. His brain rules him, your heart rules you. Maybe that’s why you were never all that in the beginning.



Photo Credit: Henn Kim


Sharon Ntan 19before97

Happy 2017

Dear Diary, Fashion, Lifestyle, Oddities, People, Spurs, Travels and Recipies

Welcome to another year – 2017.

Like the scout motto, “Be prepared”.

This year is going to be one journey of a lifetime.

Ephesians 6:10-18 (NIV) reads:

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God,so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.


Everyday, remember these.

It’s 2017. Live it up!

Normal blogging will continue soon.




Sharon Ntan 19before97