“I want to love Nigeria from afar and say I miss Suya”

Dear Diary, Fashion, Lifestyle, Oddities, People, Spurs, Travels and Recipies

“The skin colour of the slave masters changed but we’re not really free.”

 

“We used to be really excited back in the day, we would buy flags, share them, run around in green. Give to all our neighbours. Stick them on our cars.

But now, independence means nothing. It’s just another holiday where there’s no school or work. It’s like an extension.

We have countries where men died for causes and led battalions and that’s how far it goes. But the citizens know and understand, stay true to it, respect it, celebrate it and pass it down to their generations.

But the average Nigeria is suffering. I don’t know what we gained and what we’re enjoying because in many fields, outsiders rule and what do we have to show for it?

We’re independent but is it really what we want? If you’re not in a certain class, no one cares about you.

Your only crime in Nigeria is being poor.

57 years after and nothing to show for it. Look at where we are.

I would like for it to actually mean something but when your country has done less to make meaning of its independence you wonder how the “celebration” will ever mean a thing.

I would want to love Nigeria from afar and talk about how I miss suya and all but ultimately, I’m Nigerian and I love it but I will never delude myself that we are the best nation”

Those were his words when I spoke about October 1st with him this morning. Amongst all the conversations I had today on Nigeria’s independence, this took me.

On many levels, I relate and in as much as we hate to, we must admit to the truthfulness of it.

Nonetheless, as a Nigerian, I pray for a better Nigeria and I wish her fruitfulness.




In other events,

Yes, September was a month I was totally absent in this space but don’t fault me just yet. When I resume school (around October 17th) I will actually (for real this time, for real real for real) release the schedule.

Plus, I have an announcement that’s pretty big.

While that’s coming, I made myself green because…independence.

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Happy Independence! Happy October! God bless Nigeria!

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Are you six o’clock?

Spurs

This is one short extract I really liked over Sunday.


What’s up?

God wants you to be honest and upright.

 

 

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What time does the clock above show? Yes, six o’clock. Now, it may seem strange to ask but, “Are you six o’clock?”

What does that even mean?

The long hand of the clock points straight up and the short hand points straight down – they make a straight line. So, they are upright and downright.

Now, are you six o’clock? Are you straight up and down? Basically, are you straight and honest in all you do?

That’s a very tough question to answer. Especially with the “all” in position.

It is difficult living with and moving forward with people if you cannot be straight with them in life. You may find it hard but it costs nothing. Sometimes, you may think you’re being careful and you don’t want to hurt them. Other times, you may feel the damage is done so you might as well not – just stop.

In truth, by nature, none of us is six o’clock. We all do wrong in certain things (see Romans 3:23). We are all crooked and bent by nature. Some of us are 1:00, some are 4:45 – we are not straight. But the good news is that Jesus can make you six o’clock. It’s a short process, if you’re willing. He’ll help you step by step, to become six o’clock but you have to make him your best friend, read your bible and pray every day.

The moment you do, be assured that you are definitely six o’clock at all times.

That’s the attitude you should enter August with.


Welcome to August!

august

I am genuinely happy we’ve arrived a new month.

The past month for me was not quite as expected. I went through about four stages of my definition of “stages of loss”. First, I asked myself where? Searching was the second part, and the third was me asking myself how and why? And fourth I had to accept and reminisce on the good times we had. This went for my phone – but it was not the only thing.

Last month left me amazed, certain things did not feel real but I kept it moving 100/100.

Now, for our blog.

I know I almost always begin with how I’ve been away or how a lot has happened and blah blah blah. Yes, I’m probably like 5:30 instead of 6:00 but hey, you just have to see some truth in those words beyond my laziness and procrastination. So, the real question is am I back or just stopping by?

While we’re on that, dance with me as I tell you that I’m done for the school session and I can have time to blog. But first, I will make us a new schedule (one we will actually stick to for the time being, that is, until I resume again) that I will introduce probably on Thursday or Friday.

So, “summer” as my friend, Ibifubara, viciously says does not exist in Nigeria, has begun for me. Technically, it began on the 21st of July but I used the time to chill out at home. For summer, I’d be in between interning and chilling with people but the good thing about my internship this year is that, it is work from home for the most part, what bliss!

In other news, I’d be at the Lemon curd this Saturday. So if you’d be there too, be sure to say hi or I’ll tear your lashes out – I can actually try.

 

I wish you a blessed and fun-filled August, live it up!

Sharon Ntan 19before97

 

It’s okay to travel without packing a bag

Spurs

CRY. FEEL LOST. MOVE ON. BELIEVE. BE BOLD. BE AWED.

There are always exceptions,’ replied Flea. ‘They are what make you exceptional.
― Mo Willems

They say it’s weak to cry but that’s more than a big lie.

There is a certain way this life is set up. You have the big picture of what you want to make of it but one day, one event, that’s all it takes and your back is against the wall and everything just may seem like it’s all over. But it’s not.

You’re allowed to think that way and feel lost.

You see the reality before you but it’s way beyond what you have going on in your head. You take chances from time to time that just don’t work out. Does that mean you should stop? No. It means that next time you’re perturbed or you’ve “failed” you need to figure out and understand what’s worth it and what’s not. As painful as it is to have your plans, objectives or goals upturned and scattered, it’s even more painful to give up and wallow in all that’s lost.

You’re allowed to move on

Leave that place with all it holds and begin again. Some places aren’t meant for you to dwell in so sometimes you just need what will you remind you – see this as that thing. So pick up the few relevant things and go.

You’re allowed to believe.

You don’t see it but you feel it but you feel like you not only see it but have it because you want it, you need it. Go for it even when it looks impossible. That’s believing.

You’re allowed to put all your eggs in one basket; to put them behind a bicycle unstrapped while taking the bumpiest route ever.

Again, you’re allowed to believe.
You’re allowed to put all your eggs in one basket; to put them behind a bicycle unstrapped while taking the bumpiest route ever.

You’re allowed to be bold.

There’s only less you can do if you aren’t bold. You need to be bold to believe. This will help you find yourself and find your way.

You’re allowed to be confused.

You don’t even need to understand how things begin to happen well for you. Some things are above and beyond especially when you believe.

You’re allowed to do all these things because you have no other option.

Sharon Ntan 19before97

Gratitude

Spurs

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. – Colossians 3:17

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“Give thanks with a grateful heart, give thanks to the Holy one, give thanks…”

That was the first song that came up in church yesterday morning. As I heard the song, there was a rush of memories in my head. I was like what am I grateful for? How often do I even say I’m grateful? How do I show it?

I would say I’m grateful for everything. What about the terrible things?

It is written,

“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (KJV)

It makes so much sense.
Find some quiet time to pray and thank God, read Scripture out-loud (top of your voice kinda loud), get a heart check up and renew it with one that is filled with peace and joy!

You can also begin with a gratitude jar. Basically it’s a jar (or basket or container or can) that you fill with words, items, notes, thoughts, and scribbles about something that you are thankful or grateful for.

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It’s like a piggy bank only that money’s not in it. You can put things in everyday or week or month.

It’s all ao  you remind yourself that you’re amazing and everyone is amazing. You end up smiling even when you didn’t want to and you see the greater good in this world.

Have a blessed week!

Sharon Ntan 19before97

Happiness is…

Spurs

Happiness is that feeling you cannot describe but express.

Happiness is world poetry day! Happy world poetry day.

Where do I begin with poetry? I don’t. If I do, you may end up with a project paper. Poetry is the only form of literature that I truly adore.

I love such expressive words and connectivity.

In honour of today, I will share with you my all time favourite poets:

1. Francis Scott Key and Zelda Fitzgerald (You can refer to a post on my fave words from them in “In A State of Meraki“)

2. Rupi Kaur (You can refer to the post “In A State of Eunoia“)

3. Edward Estlin “E. E.” Cummings

4. Lang Leav

5. John Keats

6. William Wordsworth

7. Tolu Akinyemi

Believe me, they are all so amazing. I have not done any posts on them all but I will soon (including my own poetry), so  you can share in this beauty of words.

Now, yesterday was international day of happiness. I was totally up for posting but happily, all my posting went to Instagram. Now, I’m putting some here…

I love LastLemon and the fact that they can show almost everything that happiness is in illustrations. There’s almost nothing left out. Go across their platforms and you’d see what I’m talking about.

Happiness is reading all their works and knowing what I’m talking about.

 

 

Sharon Ntan 19before97

March: A hint at what is beautiful?

Spurs

Beautiful is the ‘thank you’ Wrapped with gratitude,

Offered to peace prone people

Who offer what is real-themselves To nurse with love and humility

naplam as asphyxiated victims

in our stained world

veiling ambition with face of ambition.

Beautiful is the moment when sunlit world fades away

And with it mind made mirror

While look inward drawn, sight insight led,

and heart shuts out desire to let in consciousness.

by yoonoos peerbocus

WELCOME TO MARCH, FLOURISH x

Sharon Ntan

 

Sharon Ntan 19before97