“I want to love Nigeria from afar and say I miss Suya”

Dear Diary, Fashion, Lifestyle, Oddities, People, Spurs, Travels and Recipies

“The skin colour of the slave masters changed but we’re not really free.”

 

“We used to be really excited back in the day, we would buy flags, share them, run around in green. Give to all our neighbours. Stick them on our cars.

But now, independence means nothing. It’s just another holiday where there’s no school or work. It’s like an extension.

We have countries where men died for causes and led battalions and that’s how far it goes. But the citizens know and understand, stay true to it, respect it, celebrate it and pass it down to their generations.

But the average Nigeria is suffering. I don’t know what we gained and what we’re enjoying because in many fields, outsiders rule and what do we have to show for it?

We’re independent but is it really what we want? If you’re not in a certain class, no one cares about you.

Your only crime in Nigeria is being poor.

57 years after and nothing to show for it. Look at where we are.

I would like for it to actually mean something but when your country has done less to make meaning of its independence you wonder how the “celebration” will ever mean a thing.

I would want to love Nigeria from afar and talk about how I miss suya and all but ultimately, I’m Nigerian and I love it but I will never delude myself that we are the best nation”

Those were his words when I spoke about October 1st with him this morning. Amongst all the conversations I had today on Nigeria’s independence, this took me.

On many levels, I relate and in as much as we hate to, we must admit to the truthfulness of it.

Nonetheless, as a Nigerian, I pray for a better Nigeria and I wish her fruitfulness.




In other events,

Yes, September was a month I was totally absent in this space but don’t fault me just yet. When I resume school (around October 17th) I will actually (for real this time, for real real for real) release the schedule.

Plus, I have an announcement that’s pretty big.

While that’s coming, I made myself green because…independence.

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Happy Independence! Happy October! God bless Nigeria!

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THREE

Dear Diary, Lifestyle

This post is just 650 words. Make sure you get to the end.

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It has all been tumbleweed and dry air here but still we know there’s warmth. Yes, there is. Not that I’m back to posting on a regular, no, not quite (exams are underway) but JULY is a very special month.

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? 

On July 1st, 2014, I decided to start a blog all over again. This was one of the days I wandered around the internet seeking shelter and I found one in the blogosphere.

As some of you may know, I made the move to WordPress from Blogger in 2015. This move was made because I found WordPress more responsive amongst other things.

 In these three years (as inconsistent as I have been) I have met amazing people and built cherishable connections. The Blogging University was a really amazing platform to facilitate that too. The daily posts, prompts and photo challenges have been interesting and inspiring too.

Amongst the many people I’ve come in contact with, Michelle. W has been of great help.

On joining WordPress,

On random days, people ask me what it’s like blogging on WordPress or blogging at all. Well, to answer that, there is an amazing community here on WordPress. This community has everyone doing different things so you will definitely find your twin.

Some people are mainstream, others are just not. You can even be your kind. You just find your path and do what you want to do. You can blog amateurly because you’re fascinated by words, reading and writing (like me) or professionally because you want to make a living out of it. Either way, just start whenever you want to – get a blog planner too.

There are no rules to this thing. If you just want an online diary, yes, you can have that as well. Make your blog private and give access to only those you want to, that is, if you want to.

This space and great. Amidst all the chaotic reporting, you can be selective and have yourself an amazing WordPress reader. Some days you don’t even have to blog (like me) you can just come online and read millions of posts and articles from people all over the world.

I must add, my WordPress reader is everything (I can suggest great people to trail)

On the future of 19Before97…

Really, don’t ask me. As far as I know, 19Before97 is not an “always and forever” platform. But these are the words from a girl who once hated Jam and bread but now eats them together like she’s always been obsessed with them.

As for now, may we enjoy it while we see it and live our days as the sun comes out with such liveliness.

Thank you for opening this site for as many times as you do. We’re growing faster than expected but I’m grateful. It feels good to know you’re here to read (or scan through) or just view pictures of whatever it is on this bloggyyy blog.

Often times, I’m tempted to close down this blog (you will be too) because I know how distant I can be (and I know I have mood swings and phases) but someone always tugs my heartstrings – always someone new.

Happy blogversary 19Before97!

Happy blogday to us!

I am literally taking myself out to celebrate this special and quiet day.

Welcome to the new month…

– JULY –

This month will be good to you. And if you find that it’s not, put it in its right senses. You have that much power. Yup!

Meanwhile,

I will leave you with this embarrassing video I made on July 1st, 2014 when I just opened this blog. I pretty much wanted to test out every single thing Google had to offer me – including YouTube (remember, I was internet homeless) LOL oh well

 

See you soon xx

Sharon Ntan 19before97

 

 

9000 F(ol)lowers

Dear Diary

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I feel like I’m growing a garden silently. These beautiful flowers keep growing in the places I least expect and their beauty is quite radiating.

It always feels good to know that someone is stopping by. I don’t make too much noise about it because “they that know, know”.

Thank you to the 9000 of you and the tens & hundreds that stay liking and messaging. You’re amazing.

I’m cluttered (yes, back to that) but I’m smiling to my ears because of you.

Side Note

Every weekend (Friday, Saturday or Sunday) I would need you to visit Atlanticnoise.com and look out for my posts – Ntan Sharon – rumour has it that my facilitator for the course (features and magazine writing) will be grading interactions. Thank you.

Have an amazing week!

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Sharon Ntan 19before97

MAY

Dear Diary, Lifestyle

I’m sorry.

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I mean, we literally walked straight into a new month and I didn’t even say a thing. I may tell you all about it soon or I may just move on and we all move on and everyone’s happy.

But until then, welcome to May.

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I consider May a beautiful month that alludes peace and this time I’m constantly reminded of flowers and their beauty.

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It’s past 3 a.m right now (at the time of writing this) but I told myself I must do this;
The only thing I hate about writing around this time is this;
I may bare certain things that may have wanted to stay clothe;
But that’s the drama behind all this;
I see myself; I see things; I come to know things; 
The intensest, the most poignant emotions gather here;
That, whether it is shine or gloom; it is felt.

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So I thought of a person with the name of a flower; 
The very music of the name is fading;
But I feel its essences;
In my little head, for many quiet minutes;
With mind maps that deepen freshly into cities;
Many and many cities I hope to explore.

There are lovely things I have heard and experienced;
Everything is soul and flowering;
It starts small until it becomes a cheering light;
The kind that keeps growing fresh before me everyday.

God knows; I don’t know what keeps me laughing;
But I love it and I love His flowers.

I’m dedicating this month to flowers;
A field of them for us, and a garden;
Full of sweet scents, and colours, and pleasant aura.

So for every minute, on every day;
A flowery thought to bind you to happiness;
Spite of bosses, of the human nature;
Of facilitators, of the gloomy days;
Of all the unhealthy and over annoying things;
Made for us to get pissed off; yes, in spite of all;
Some reminder of beauty; from our day’s trouble;
Each Daisy, each Peony, each Gardenia, each Rose.

Remembering the scent; the look as if it were in the form of a person you love/d;
For even though there are certain flowers you can’t reach; knowing they exist is more than enough.

 

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HAVE A BLESSED, HAPPY & FLOWERY MAY!

Sharon Ntan 19before97

LAGOSIANS ARE “ANGRY”

Dear Diary

I’m about to take you down a somewhat confusing recap illustrating how I got here now.

It took me a hectic (last week) Friday of learning how to use Adobe premier pro CS5, editing a short profile story and almost getting lost in Ajah later on that same evening, to a beautiful Saturday of burning my scalp because “texturizing”, to putting on makeup and going out to a wedding that lasted about the whole day, to a blur Sunday of waking up to itchy red eyes and a slightly itchy rashy face, to a lazy Monday of exfoliating to get these rashes away ASAP and sitting on the couch watching both TV and series and eating pancakes and baked beans, to a Tuesday of almost drowning in my clothes that I spent close to 7 hours folding and arranging (no, my wardrobe is not a boutique as one of my dear friends exclaimed), to a Wednesday of going to the market place and getting drained then returning home and freshening up and falling asleep sleeeeeep to today – the Thursday I’m posting this.

It took me all these event filled days to finally post this article. I won’t take you back in detail but mannn, a lot has happened. Okay, I’ll just take you a little back to last week.

I concluded my exams on Tuesday last week. Ay okay, freedom! Yeah, right. I had what I refer to as “post exams” – the kind of exams you do after the regular classroom exams. I had video journalism to wrap up on Thursday to be submitted Friday morning. I didn’t know how to use premier pro so I felt like I was running mad. TBT (truth be told not throwback Thursday but hey, both actually work in this case), I just never paid full attention in class when the facilitator was teaching the practical. I know, you’d be tempted to say that was my fault but really, let’s look at this thing again. What was I doing? Reading other blogs, checking Instagram, chatting or playing online games – you see, it’s more them than me. They captured me. Believe me.

But I thank God for His children, Madonna and Chidera, my course mates who showed me the way to go by opening my eyes on how to use the software in a matter of hours. Long story short, I was able to finish and export a befitting assignment.

NOTE: Children, learn from this. Listen in class. That one time you don’t listen, the topic for the day will come back at you like a boomerang with shaolin soccer effects.

 

So, that’s that about that and all that.

 

Now, this title has little to do with the whole post but as I was on my way to the marketplace yesterday, something struck me and it wasn’t lightning. I won’t talk about the economy and personal struggles. The main focus is the sun and its addition to all that’s already going on.

Lagosians are angry. They are very angry.

The sun is upon them like hats they did not buy. Its beams are so strong it poses war upon them.

I looked around and I asked, “Why is everyone so angry?” I noticed the lines on their foreheads knowing they are falling in unpleasant places. I could see that they seemed to carry the kind of stress that was transformed to anger. It’s hard to see them smile under the sun while in motion.

In their furrowed brows, gritted teeth, straight faces and banzai charge, I found my answer. So I realized the rays of the sun are too much to bear.

By Lagosians, I refer to everyone living or staying in Lagos at the moment and happens to walk around the streets of Lagos once once.

Okay, you have reached the end. I may share my buys at the market place with you sometime.

See you later! x

Sharon Ntan 19before97

Broken to be Built again

Dear Diary

Yesterday, I read out my first eulogy before a crowd.
The past weeks have been so melancholic.

I never thought I’d ever write and read a eulogy, at least even if I did, not over the loss of a person so young and full of life but sometimes, things turn out differently.

My first eulogy was to my cousin.
I’ve never had someone that close to me die so I don’t quite know how I felt or how to feel but it leaves me stunned.

Losing a person is like losing a star. The light they give goes off. They become present in memory, present in thought but no longer in reality.

All you have are the pieces.

But I want to encourage you by sharing part of my eulogy with you because I believe you may need it too.

If you lost someone (or something) and you’re not so sure how to deal with it, I want you to remember:

“A thing of beauty is a joy forever: Its loveliness increases; it will never pass into nothingness…” – John Keats

Your loss will hurt because you’ll be forced to accept a reality you didn’t prepare for.

There is a time to break down and a time to build up. Now you have broken down, focus on building up – that is what the person you lost may even expect of you.

“For what it’s worth … There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.” – Eric Roth

One day, you will understand. But until the day you do, find your comfort in Jesus Christ because only he can give you the peace you deserve.

 

Have a joyful week ahead!

 

20

Dear Diary

This is a picture picture picture post.

IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY ON WEDNESDAY the 25th of January!

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Ikepo shot it

AND I’M NOW 2-0…LD

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Quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Why do birthdays last for only a day? Why does a day even last for only a day?

There are certain things I’ll never understand.

So, I have shredded the ‘teen’ suffix to my age and taken up the ‘twenty’ prefix.

Every time it’s my birthday I ask myself, “Girl, do you feel any different?”. Yes! I do and I always see a different sky and feel a different sun.

It’s my new year.

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To be honest, I really do 😂

I am almost 100 percent childlike.

Twenty doesn’t look Twenty on me does it? I know I’ll still argue with people over my age.

The 25th was special. I felt loved and appreciated and that added to my happiness.

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I’ve said thank you a lot but thank you again for making my day special. Even though all I did that day because “January birthday” was go to school and go back home 🙄

Oh, did I mention I told my friends to wear purple or blue? You know they’re my all time favourite colours – purple first. Soon wanted to feel a purple twenty.

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And this is just quarter quarter of them

It was all enough.

That is why I decided to have a mini photoshoot with Chris a good guy who takes pictures and reminds me so much of my cousin.

Here we gooo…

Sharon Ntan


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Happy birthday to me again and thank you again ❤

Photography: Ikepo (2nd picture) & Chris (last picturessss)

Makeup: Onome (@Merakibyonome) Instagram

Outfit: My brand (if I had any)

Shoes: Gafa Sandals:

Flower crown: Accessories 2die4

Whatelse? Smile: God ❤

Sharon Ntan 19before97